I'm sure that in many moments of your life have you heard of self-esteem ...
But if I ask you what is it? Could you answer me?
Surely some answers are going through your head type: Loving myself, feeling good, liking, etc ...
Good and How do I know if I love myself, I feel good, I like it etc?
It's easy to like yourself when when life smiles at you, you've done an excellent competition or you've noticed that person you liked so much.
However, what happens in those days, when everything goes wrong, other people reject you, others are responsible for reminding you the most you do things, etc ...?
Those days probably your self-esteem goes down to the underworld and you want the earth to swallow you because you don't consider yourself worthy enough to be in it.
And now you should be wondering So it depends on how the day goes. Will I have high or low self-esteem?
Let me tell you that if this happens, you have quite unstable self-esteem.
But do you know what the problem is? Most people have conditioned self-esteem which depends more on external factors than on themselves. And this is a serious mistake.
By grace or unfortunately in life it is not all wonderful, there are times that you will put all your meat on the grill and your results are not as you expected, there are times that you will do things well but they will go wrong.
Life is not fair, nobody said it was and your results do not depend 100% on your actions. You live in a world in which you are continually playing with statistics and yes, although it is unlikely there is a possibility that you throw 30 times the coin and 30 times cross.
I understand that you are thinking that I want to depress you and make you see that the world is bullshit, but it is just the opposite.
In fact I don't think the world is crap and I firmly believe that our actions have a very important role in how life is going to go. If I do something right even if there is a probability that I will go wrong, it will probably work out well.
What I want to make you see, however, is that your self-esteem, your self-esteem, your love and acceptance of yourself has to be authentic and independent how was your day.
Would you stop loving your partner, your mother, your child because they have a season when everything goes wrong? Would you insult them? Would you think they are less valid?
If you wouldn't do it with them ... Why do you do it with yourself?
Go there I caught you, right?
You have to love yourself for who you are, because you are unique in the world and because nothing and no one has ever been and will not be like you. Because if you are in this world it is for some reason and because you have a moral duty to live fully and make your existence something great.
Because regardless of whether you are taller, shorter, thinner or fatter, more blond, more brown, even if you have the ugliest (in your opinion) nose in the world, you have an intrinsic value as an incalculable person.
You simply matter, regardless of whether you are wrong that you are not perfect, that there are people who despise you, that things do not always go well for you and on the day that you understand this I promise you that your life will change forever.
But let's continue where we were going
- 1 What is self-esteem?
- 2 The importance of healthy self-esteem
- 3 Have you ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy?
What is self-esteem?
Simplifying self-esteem is nothing other than what you tell yourself or others about yourself and their assessment.
When I talk about valuation, I mean if that form in which you are describing yourself has a positive or negative connotation for you.
If you define yourself as an extrovert Is it something positive for you or outgoing people, do you think people talk too much and should shut up more often?
The importance of healthy self-esteem
When we have low or unstable self-esteem, we treat ourselves as worthless beings and also show ourselves to others as someone who is not worthy, which is not enough, allowing them to treat us as if this were true.
In this way it is easy to enter a vicious circle in which our self-esteem is increasingly low and therefore it is increasingly difficult to get out of it.
Have you ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy?
The Self-fulfilling Prophecy theory He explains that when we have an idea about something or someone our behavior tries to be consistent with the beliefs we hold and our attention is skewed in that direction.
For example, if you think that you are useless and that everything comes out more, you will focus your attention on those things in your life that go wrong by ignoring all those things that you do wonderfully.
In addition, it is possible that you are so afraid to make a mistake again or that on the contrary you do things with such reluctance (total for what? If you already know that it will go wrong) that that pressure or that neglect make them effectively go wrong, reinforcing That way the belief that you are useless and everything goes wrong.
The image we have about ourselves greatly influences the way in which we treat each other, in which we treat others and in the way in which others treat us.
Therefore, by working on our self-esteem, we can change the way we relate to the world. Amazing truth?
Have you lived too many relationships in which you did not feel that others treated you as you deserved?
If the answer is positive, it is likely that you are unconsciously projecting your low self-esteem into the world by inviting other people with a self-esteem also quite unstable to trample it further with the intention of raising theirs.
It is not uncommon to find people who try to feel better by making others feel bad. They calculate their worth based on the power they have over others and this is also a fairly big problem.
Having low or unstable self-esteem is a risk factor for all types of psychological problems: Phobias, addictions, emotional dependence, depression, anxiety, couple problems, work problems, social problems, poor academic performance ...
The conclusion of the experts in this field is clear, if our self-esteem does not have enough strength, we will live poorly, we will have problems and we will not be happy.
However, the problem goes even further. If you are not happy, it will be difficult for you to make those around you happy, you will not bring satisfaction to your friends, you will give problems to your partner and you will not be able to convey to your children the love for themselves.
Do you think I'm going over?
How are you going to love others if you are not able to love yourself? Do not try to start the house on the roof.
Maintaining a satisfactory relationship with yourself is the first step for any other relationship of any kind to work.
What will you offer to others if you don't see your positive qualities or look at them with that doubtful air?
Love starts at home. To love another is to enjoy his company, rejoice in his joys and that his misfortunes hurt you. If you don't like being alone, you don't forgive yourself, you can't stand it and you're continually overwhelmed, you don't love yourself.
Many people have asked me if it is possible to hate oneself, the answer is a resounding yes.
Even to the extreme that hatred can lead to self-destructive behaviors, such as self-harm, suicide or reckless behavior that puts one's life at risk such as consuming excessive amounts of drugs, driving under the influence of alcohol, etc ...
In short, having healthy self-esteem, being able to accept and love oneself is key to self-knowledge and personal development, as well as an excellent predictor of success in personal relationships, in addition to the best antidote I know against psychological disorders.
If your self-esteem is going well, chances are your life.
For these reasons and for many more I want to introduce the course Psycho-self-esteem: How to build a satisfactory relationship with yourself in 5 weeks?
It is an online course through which you will be able to change your relationship with yourself and therefore with the world around you, reconnect with your intrinsic value as a person and live a full life and according to your values.
Click here to see the syllabus and get more information about the courseRelated tests
- Personality test
- Self-esteem test
- Couple Compatibility Test
- Self-knowledge test
- Friendship test
- Am i in love